Church should be like this all the time!

Yesterday I decided we had been heathens long enough. We were going to church, and lack of clean clothes, new puppies, tired kids, and grumpy husbands were not going to stop me. Sgt. G dressed himself and one child, because he has learned by now that if he wishes to live to see the next sunrise, he will not just get himself ready and stand by the door saying "we are going to be late!!" as I pack snacks, toys, check teeth and make sure everyone's underwear was changed, and then try to shower. As we are walking out the door, Monkey throws one doozie of a tantrum. First he tries to refuse putting on socks and shoes, but this is an old trick and I respond by saying fine and hauling him out into the breezeway. Standing barefoot on concrete in December makes you reevaluate your stand....next he refuses to get in the truck or getting buckled, but hey, this ain't new to Mommy either, so after a minute of Mommy sitting on him in the truck (and Daddy trying really hard not to laugh in the front seat) I end up sucessfully buckling him in and sit next to him in the back with one leg over his so he can't kick, and holding his hands, he is reduced to screaming...which he does the entire drive there. Sgt. G and I discuss that the new brand of chocolate soy milk JUST MIGHT have Gluten in it afterall! Sgt G drops Motormouth and me out at the door and settles in to wait Monkey out. Motormouth and I sneak in (because we are late of course) and sit in the back. For 5 minutes I shush him until I realize that I didn't give him his ADHD meds that morning, so he has the right to remain silent, just not the ability. After 15 minutes Sgt. G and Monkey make their entrance while the choir is singing the first of two songs. When the song ends Monkey announces "Let's go home!" and when the music starts again "*sigh* One more song!" just loud enough for half the congregation to hear. Then the children's choir gets up and sings three songs, complete with Monkey repeating his requests inbetween each one. They pass the offering plate while Sgt. G checks his watch. "Pastor Tom is sick, so there doesn't seem to be a sermon today" I whisper. "getting out early...church should be like this all the time!!" he whispers back. I resist the urge to smack him.