Friday, February 13, 2009

Things I Need

I Need:

To get more than 4 hours of sleep

To have a dog that doesn't wake me up in the night for no reason

To realize that I am putting on Sgt. G's Stratton Game Calls shirt and not one of mine. (says BLOW ME on the back)

To not have Monkey's school ambush me in an IEP meeting, and railroad me into having him not only change buses, but change schools

To have Sgt. G realize that I am crying in an IEP meeting when I am sitting right next to him

To realize just how much Monkey's school is screwing him up and get him the hell out of there

To not wake up in the morning and realize that I am out of toilet paper, Mt. Dew AND deodorant

To clean her house before her mother in law comes

To remember to thank her mother in law for calling out of the blue and offering to pick up the kids and keep them overnight for Valentines Day

To remember her debit card when she meets people for lunch

To not pick up Motormouth at tutoring when he is actually at school

To quit saying I am on the verge of a nervous breakdown

To get Sgt. G to understand that we are not seeing Friday the 13th tomorrow night.

This week to be OVER!!!!

Sunday, February 8, 2009

What goes around....

Sgt. G is trying to watch a movie with Motormouth. Motormouth has never seen it, and keeps asking questions about what is going to happen next. About everything. Constantly. Sgt. G gets frustrated and tells him to be quiet and watch. If he would just watch he would know what would happen and wouldn't have to ask. I am sitting here giggling quietly (okay, not so quietly) and finally Sgt. G notices my glee.

Sgt. G: What!?

Me: Like Father like son. Only he asks questions instead of loudly pointing out the obvious.

If you have never had the pleasure of seeing a movie with my husband, you are really missing out. He makes sure you don't miss a thing by informing you of everything you just saw, and by repeating key lines of the movie. It is like being married to Captain Obvious. I assumed for years that he thought I was an idiot or something that I couldn't follow a basic plot line until I watched a movie sitting between him and his mom. She routinely asks what just happened or what was just said. Turns out he was trained from a young age to irritate me.

Keep on Keeping on Motormouth.

Saturday, February 7, 2009

It's been one of those weeks in this house.

It's been one of those weeks in this house.
It carried over from last week. My van was way overdue for an oil change and the check engine light came on; I was hoping it was because of the oil, and it would magically turn off when I got it changed. I even tried to make it up to the van by having them flush and de-gunk stuff (I know, it is stupid to try to make a peace offering to a machine). It didn't turn off, so G called around and got it in somewhere on Monday. Turns out I had a bad emmissions sensor (dammit, could have kept driving it!), a broken spring, and something is wrong with the manifold- again. The garage is saying about 1200 for everything. Can we drive it with the manifold thing leaking? The guy says yes. Great. G calls his cousin in St. Johns to see if we can have him do that part, (for half the price), his cousin can. Later in the week, some incredibley honest person with amazing driving skills hits G's truck in the parking lot not once, but twice. Guess they didn't do a good enough job the first time and tried it again. 2 dinner size plate dents, one in each door on the passenger side and some scratches. G loves that truck a little more than me most days, so he was a little ticked. Insurance says they will send us a check for the appraised amount less $500 for our deductible. Great, because the few hundred I shelled out last week on the van, plus the few hundred this week, plus the more than a few hundrend still to shell out wasn't enough car expenses this month. Friday starts out great, Monkey wakes up with a 102.2 fever for no particular reason, so everything I had put off all week will have to wait until next week. G calls from work to tell me that he didn't leave his personal cell phone at work like he was hoping, it is lost. So he buys a new phone and now has a new number that I have to memorize and call all pertinant people and update them. G comes home that night. He says he finally called the insurance company back and they said they are sending us a check for the entire amount, so we don't have to pay the deductible. He couldn't tell me why (I guess it didn't occur to him to ask?). I am trying to squeeze in a shower now that I am not the only adult in the house so I almost didn't notice him grabbing the toilet plunger and heading out of the bathroom.
Me: ummm, do I want to know what you are doing with that?
Sgt. G: no.
Me: no swordfighting with the kids (can you tell I am the mom of boys?)
Sgt. G: I'll try to control myself.
I get out of the shower and G comes back in with the plunger.
Sgt. G: (all puffed up like a peacock) Well, what do you know!!
Me: I don't know, what do I know?
Sgt. G: no more dents.
Me: You toilet plungered the truck? And it worked?
Sgt. G: yup.
Me: so we just get to keep that insurance money?
Sgt. G: Oh, I could spend it.
Me: of that I have no are turning into a handy guy
Sgt. G: don't tell anyone.
Me: if anyone asks, I'll tell them you are handsy, not handy.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

More Grandma Love

Motormouth has to do a biography on someone he thinks is interesting. Guess who that would be?
So he calls Grandma to 'interview' her over the phone (he reads the questions, I write the answers)
The last part of the interview was just writing down some interesting stuff that you learned about your special person. I tell Motormouth to ask if Grandma had any special pets or anything like that (mostly because I wanted to hear my mom squirm her way through the story of her kicking a turtle). Mom walks right into it and tells Motormouth that she had a turtle for a few days. The rule in her house growing up was that if you could get an animal to follow you home, you could keep it as a pet.

Motormouth: So, you had a turtle follow you home? it must have taken a really long time, grandma, they are really slow.

Grandma: well, it did take a long time, turtles just kind of hide in their shell around people (yup, especially when you are kicking them) so I would pick him up and carry him a little, and then I would put him down and....well........nudge him with my foot a little......until I got him home.

Motormouth: (completely oblivious to the point) So you got to keep him?

Grandma: for a few days, I think my mom knew he didn't actually follow me home.

Motormouth: yeah, mom's know EVERYTHING.

Grandma: Usually.

I guess it is good that he didn't catch that Grandma kicked that poor turtle home, it might have given him ideas. It did fuel his theory that every mom is cooler than his mom. Whatever critters he catches, have to stay outside.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

I don't live up to the Grandma Standard, and he loves another.

Driving in the car last night with the kids, Motormouth and I start discussing Valentines Day.

Motormouth: I have to make something special for all my teachers.

Me: That is.....6 people (counting student teachers, parapros, assitants). Can we just buy them something special?

Motormouth: I wanted to sew them little hearts that look like those hearts with words on them.

Me: Yeah, no. Mommy doesn't sew.

Motormouth: I can. Grandma taught me....grandma would help me sew something.

Me: Well, grandma isn't here. Sorry mommy isn't as great as grandma.

Motormouth: (sighing) that's okay. You are good at some stuff too.

Me: Gee. Thanks.

Motormouth: I have to make Anneke a special card. I love her. I have to write I love you in her card.

Me: Can't you just write that you like her a lot?

Motormouth: No. Because I love her.

Me: What happened to Malaysia?

Motormouth: Mom, she moved to Texas a long time ago....I can't wait forever.

Me: Can't you just love mommy? I'm not ready for you to love some other girl. You are nine.

Motormouth: Mom, you can't stop love.

Me: oh.