Motormouth is eating breakfast and G is getting ready for work.
Motormouth: Daddy, you need to get a new tattoo, you haven't gotten one in a while.
(Is G paying this kid?)
G: I'm thinking about it, bud. It has been a while, but haven't decided what to get yet.
Motormouth: a skull. That is what I'm going to get, a skull and crossbones.
Me: I don't think so.
Motormouth: Mom! you don't even have any tattoos, so you don't know.
Me: sure I do, they are just natural ones.
Motormouth: huh?
Me: (lifting my shirt to show him the stretch marks on my belly) These are my tattoos. I got them when I was pregnant with you.
Motormouth: Wow...............that's a lot of tattoos.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Monday, August 24, 2009
What I meant was, it would have been the best if you WERE in it.
Motormouth: Mom, I had the best dream last night. I dreamed that I was married to Anneke, and we had a baby, and I kissed her.
Me: Anneke or the baby?
Motormouth: Anneke. I was kissing her, but then I woke up and I was kissing my pillow. It was the best dream ever!! You weren't in it!!
Me: Anneke or the baby?
Motormouth: Anneke. I was kissing her, but then I woke up and I was kissing my pillow. It was the best dream ever!! You weren't in it!!
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Ask a stupid question....
Monkey comes out of his bedroom this morning and sees me in the living room.
Monkey: (all happy) Mommy!! (runs to give me a big hug) Mommy! I so happy to see you!!
Motormouth: what if she wasn't really your mommy?
Me: Motormouth! Be nice. How would you like it if someone told you I wasn't really YOUR mommy?
Motormouth: (no hesitation) Then could I go live with Grandma! Oohhh! could Grandma be my Mom? Can she???
Monkey: (all happy) Mommy!! (runs to give me a big hug) Mommy! I so happy to see you!!
Motormouth: what if she wasn't really your mommy?
Me: Motormouth! Be nice. How would you like it if someone told you I wasn't really YOUR mommy?
Motormouth: (no hesitation) Then could I go live with Grandma! Oohhh! could Grandma be my Mom? Can she???
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Why again to I take my kids into public?
Motormouth got the pleasure of going with me to buy books for my classes at the campus bookstore.
Motormouth: (eyeing the 4 books I am carrying to the cash register) Those are way heavier than my school books.
Me: yes, and your school just gives your's to you, I have to buy mine.
Motormouth: really? That's weird.
Me: not really, I am paying to go to school, so it sort of makes sense that I would have to pay for books too. You pay for school when it is your choice to go. It's free when you have to go.
Motormouth: Why would anyone pay to go to school?
The cashier rings me up and gives me the slip to sign.
Motormouth: (reading the reciept) 415 DOLLARS???? THAT'S CRAZY!!
Lady behind us: Preach it, little man.
Motormouth: (eyeing the 4 books I am carrying to the cash register) Those are way heavier than my school books.
Me: yes, and your school just gives your's to you, I have to buy mine.
Motormouth: really? That's weird.
Me: not really, I am paying to go to school, so it sort of makes sense that I would have to pay for books too. You pay for school when it is your choice to go. It's free when you have to go.
Motormouth: Why would anyone pay to go to school?
The cashier rings me up and gives me the slip to sign.
Motormouth: (reading the reciept) 415 DOLLARS???? THAT'S CRAZY!!
Lady behind us: Preach it, little man.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
My Point Exactly
I overheard this exchange between Motormouth and Sgt. G today as Sgt. G walked in the door from work.
Motormouth: Daddy, why does your face look like that?
Sgt. G: huh?
Motormouth: Your forehead is all scrunched up and it makes these lines....it makes you look mad.
Sgt. G: I don't know what you are talking about, this is my regular face.
Motormouth: I KNOW......but you always look grumpy.
Motormouth: Daddy, why does your face look like that?
Sgt. G: huh?
Motormouth: Your forehead is all scrunched up and it makes these lines....it makes you look mad.
Sgt. G: I don't know what you are talking about, this is my regular face.
Motormouth: I KNOW......but you always look grumpy.
Friday, August 7, 2009
Major life epiphanies win every time.
G gets home from work earlier this week, looking exhausted.
Sgt. G: Well. My day sucked.
Me: Really? Because I dealt with a screaming fit from Monkey that lasted for about 45 minutes.
Sgt. G: what is his deal lately?..........So, how is that new?
Me: He was naked and threatening to kill me.
Sgt. G: why was he naked?
Me: That's the part that concerns you? Thanks. So, you think your day beats death threats from a naked 6 year old? Try and top it.
Sgt. G: (sighs) I realized today that I spent most of the day trying to get a guy INTO the Army that as an M.P. I would have tried to get kicked OUT of the Army.
Me: oh......you win.
Sgt. G: Well. My day sucked.
Me: Really? Because I dealt with a screaming fit from Monkey that lasted for about 45 minutes.
Sgt. G: what is his deal lately?..........So, how is that new?
Me: He was naked and threatening to kill me.
Sgt. G: why was he naked?
Me: That's the part that concerns you? Thanks. So, you think your day beats death threats from a naked 6 year old? Try and top it.
Sgt. G: (sighs) I realized today that I spent most of the day trying to get a guy INTO the Army that as an M.P. I would have tried to get kicked OUT of the Army.
Me: oh......you win.
Get off my six.
Motormouth comes running out of his room "Mom!! There's a bug in my room. It fell out of a box and you have to get it!"
Me: A bug. Where is it?
Motormouth: At three o'clock.
Me: Say again?
Motormouth: It fell at my three o'clock
Me: Motormouth, do you know where your three o'clock is?
Motormouth: IN MY ROOM
Me: Pretend you are standing on a clock face. So here is 12, 3, 6 is behind you, and 9....make sense?
Motormouth: Oh, I just had heard it on a TV show with soldiers and stuff. Daddy says it too.
Me: Those are generally the kind of people who wouldn't need to call their mom to get the bug.
Motormouth: Get it, get it get it!!
Me: A bug. Where is it?
Motormouth: At three o'clock.
Me: Say again?
Motormouth: It fell at my three o'clock
Me: Motormouth, do you know where your three o'clock is?
Motormouth: IN MY ROOM
Me: Pretend you are standing on a clock face. So here is 12, 3, 6 is behind you, and 9....make sense?
Motormouth: Oh, I just had heard it on a TV show with soldiers and stuff. Daddy says it too.
Me: Those are generally the kind of people who wouldn't need to call their mom to get the bug.
Motormouth: Get it, get it get it!!
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