On the days I work in the morning, I usually try to squeeze in a nap while the kids are in school. The dog usually wakes me up by barking like crazy 2 feet from my face because Motormouth is coming through the door....so I am already a ray of sunshine while trying to deal with Motormouth's incessant chattering and questions. Motormouth came in clutching some Red Vines and asked to trade for some candy that he can actually eat (let me say right here how amazing I think this kid is that he will hold candy that he isn't supposed to eat all the way home on the bus while all the other kids are eating theirs because he knows he isn't supposed to eat it- how many 9 year olds would do that? He gets so much credit for that, but apparently, that credit does not transfer) He makes a trade, I eat the Red Vines and tell him to wash his hands before he eats his candy. He goes to the bathroom and washes his hands and wanders off. I then go in to use the bathroom after him.....and somehow manage to channel my mother. In my defense for the following exchange...this would be the third time in as many days that his father and I have talked to him about this.
Me: (from the toilet) ARGH!!! MOTORMOUTH!! DID YOU GO POTTY WITH THE SEAT DOWN?????
Me: Do you realize that when you do that you get pee all over the seat and so then Mommy sits in it???
Me: (practically whispering) I'll give you a head start.
Me: Go. Now. Run. Now. Away.