Friday, October 30, 2009

I think I'll go back to pouring medicine down your throat.

Medicine and Monkey do not mix. Never have, maybe never will. We have adapted so far. When he was 2 or so we would bribe, Hershey Kiss in one hand, drugs in the other. "Monkey...you want this? (waving chocolate under his nose), then take this first..." Even at the age of two he was smarter than that, but would generally succumb to the pressure and take the medicine for the candy, making me feel like I had just succeeded in teaching my child two things. First- even when you know it is wrong or bad, do it to make someone else happy, and secondly- it doesn't matter how awful something is, you should do it if the payoff is big enough.
Great role modeling.
After a while the payoff wasn't big enough and he refused to take the medicine (which, in my sick little way, made me a little proud), so the end result would be pinning him down with his head between your knees and pouring it down his throat- praying that he wouldn't choke to death this time. (you want to see my mother of the year awards? They are all lined up in a row in the basement, right outside the torture chamber) teaching Monkey another all important lesson- the biggest and the strongest always win. We eventually came to a truce. If it wasn't an antibiotic or something he HAD to take, it was up to him. We encouraged, but didn't push it. If he didn't want the Tylenol to make him more comfortable, then fine. We also started buying those thin strips of cold medicine because he will take those, and the chewable tablets of Tylenol, which he might take a couple. During our swine flu encounter we were able to reason with him a little to take the Tylenol, explaining that it would make his head stop hurting, or that it wouldn't make him feel so hot/cold anymore. It (kind of) worked a little. Or so I thought until this morning. Monkey brought me a packet of sweet tarts that he got from a teacher at school yesterday and asked if he could have them. I opened them and handed him the tarts. He looks at the candy in his hand and his eyes light up "Look mommy!! (putting his hand over his forehead in that universal 'checking for fever' kind of way) The candy will make us all feel better!!" He pops the tart into his mouth and wanders off.

That's right kid, important life lesson number 4- Eat your way to happiness.

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