This week of being home with not much to do has at least done one thing for me, it has made me realize that this is a good time for me to be going back to school. Between deployments, field exercises, moving, multiple diagnoses, PTSD, the loss of a baby, school IEP's, doctor's appointments and you know, all the "normal" stuff- I have been at a physical and emotional dead run for the past 8 years. I don't really know how to do "down-time". I feel at odds with myself and start to get a little depressed if I don't have something pressing to do...right now!! This frantic pace is the pace of my life and I don't know how to do it any other way.
Frankly, taking the time to slow down and just breathe seems to make me hyperventilate.
Which is just fine for now, I have a lot I want to get done in the next decade, so I'll use this drive to my advantage. With the kids in school a full day and both of them being successful and more independent and G being home more without looming deployments, I'm not stretched as thin on the home front as I was in the past and need something to consume my time and energy. Tonight I was reassured once again that it is good for me to be in school. Motormouth needs to study for a science quiz and asks if I can help him. I look over his study guide and burst out laughing. Sure kid, I can help you. Your entire study guide was on my Chemistry mid-term last week. And when you get to synthetic division, I can help you with that too. That's probably not until 5th grade though, right?